Land of the Lost
I’m big on putting things away in their proper place. It’s not a system or belief, it’s how I maintain my sanity. I can’t stand not knowing where things are.
Last night the soy sauce was sitting next to the stove and since I didn’t know how it figured into the dinner plan, I stuck it back in the cupboard.
Then we sat down to eat and apparently it fit into Bob’s dinner plan.
B: Where’s the soy sauce? I wanted to use it.
Me: It was by the stove so I put it away. If you wanted to use it you should have put it on the table.
I know. I was feeling a bit testy. Bob got up from the table and opened the cupboard. After one second:
B: I can’t find it.
Me: Don’t make me go over there.
Then he made a production of turning on the big overhead light, like it was too dark to see properly. I looked over my shoulder and could see the soy sauce in the cupboard from where I was sitting.
Me: It’s next to the olive oil. Looking for something means looking in places other than where you expect it to be.
Bob: Did you learn that since you married me?
Me: No, I work for [names of attorneys redacted].
I’m not even sure that was the right response because the attorneys don’t look for things at all. They ask me to find something and I spend a half hour looking high and low and pulling my hair out and then in despair, going into their office and moving a few papers around and finding it on their desk.